Yesterday I got really excited when I stepped on the scale and saw that I have lost 21.1 pounds. It was so nice to feel this good, be eating this well and still be losing weight. I immediately posted on Facebook and the outpouring was amazing. Over 60 people "liked" my status and left comments. It is likely the most attention anything I've ever posted on Facebook has received aside from the birth of my child. It felt so good to have that support and love from friends, family and some that hardly know me.
Then the guilt set in.
You see, I've been here before. A million times really. I've lost and gained this same 21 pounds so many times that all in all I've probably lost over 200 pounds. 200 of the very same 21 pounds. My weight loss has been like the movie Groundhog Day. I get to a certain point and then start back right where I came from.
I wanted to tell all of these people on Facebook that I was sorry. I felt like I was scamming them. Then I realized, I need them. Why? Well, because that's 60 plus more people to hold me accountable. 60 plus more people that are rooting for me. 60 plus more people that I don't want to let down. I don't want to hide again when weight comes back on and they all wonder what happened. I want this to be the LAST TIME for myself and I want this to be the LAST TIME for them.
So thank you for your support. Thank you for liking my status and leaving comments on my blog. It feels good and motivates me because this time around I don't want to let anyone down....and I may need to hold your hand some along the way.