Thursday, May 24, 2012

A better mommy....

Years ago in a previous life I had a job that required me to be on the road in my car A LOT.  In that time I found that talking to someone on the phone was an easy way to pass the time.  In my current life it is something that I still do, although ALWAYS with a headset.  It's my time to get in touch with people, to chat with friends about the day and to catch up with my mom.  When I'm at home I have NO DESIRE to talk on the phone.  Being on the phone or sitting on a PC when I am at home is worse for me than cleaning the bathroom.

Leyton typically gets a ride home from his Dad.  I have no idea what happens on those rides, but I have realized that I get little snippets of what that car ride must be like on the rare occasion that I have to pick him up.  He shows me the poppy flowers growing by the freeway, he says "Here we go!" when we are about to go into a curve on the freeway and then says "Weeeee" when we are in the turn.  He wants to listen to the music and sing along to his favorite songs.

Here's the thing.  I miss these moments.  I miss them because many times I am on my phone talking to someone, all the while he is in the back seat trying to interact with me.  It was on a ride home this week that once I finally got home and got off my phone I realized what a SHITTY Mommy moment this was.  A moment that I was taking advantage of because in my mind there might be a million more moments like this.  I felt terrible and still do for that matter.  I don't want to be a Mommy that takes advantage of moments with my child.

I made a pact with myself that day that under no circumstances would I talk on the phone will Leyton is in the car.  This might mean I don't get to talk to some people as much, but it also means I will get to enjoy my son more and he will have my attention.  I will be a better Mommy.

3 comments:

Pele said...

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Nb: Dont forget to leave your comment back for us.

Rebecca said...

A friend of mine writes a blog you might like - it's called "hands free mama" and her name is Rachel Stafford. She writes about exactly the kinds of situations you just described.

Kim said...

Just stumbled across your blog. The overwhelming 'mommy guilt' is a cross we all have to bear. Don't beat yourself up about it, us mums can have a life too! I've found myself chatting on Facebook when my daughter wants attention, I'm sure you make up for it in a hundred different ways..!
Great blog! I'm a fellow mommy blogger from the UK.

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