Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Ode to a man.

The most common question I get after getting a tattoo is "What does Bill think about it."

I don't talk much about Bill here.  This is not his blog so I try to keep him out of it.  Sometimes though, he just has to be here because he is a part of me.  Bill is the guy I commonly refer to as "hubby."

We will celebrate our 14 year anniversary together this year, 5 years married.  We have never broken up, never stormed out on each other.  That's not to say that things are always easy.  Relationships are hard.  Relationships can be even harder when you were young when you got together, I was 22 he was 27.  You have so much growing to do still.  The thing with the hubby and I that I think we are good at is we don't try to make each other grow into the direction we want.  We let each other grows towards wherever our light takes us and love each other as we are.

When we first met I had three tattoos I think, all small.  I also had my tongue pierced.  The thing is, I was not a crazy girl.  I lived by the book, I worked hard and I was a "good girl."  In fact, I have said before that I think I enjoyed tattoos because it was a way to say that people shouldn't be put into a mold based on how they look.  I say that and yet I remember thinking, when it dawned on me that I liked my husband, that he would never like a girl like me.  A girl with tattoos and a stud in her tongue.  He seemed too straight and narrow, so by the book, such a "good boy."

Guess what, he did like me.

Through the years I have lost weight, I have gained weight.  I have been blond, I have had black hair.  I have had long hair, I have had boy short hair.  I went from having three small tattoos to having 10 tattoos which aren't all so small.  Most of the time Bill knows nothing of these changes.  He just comes home to find something new.  There are times I realize that perhaps this isn't fair.  Perhaps I should get his opinion on things before I make changes.  The thing is though, he always loves me.  I never walk in and find him saying, "why is your hair short...I like long hair!....why do you have another tattoo, I like clean skin."  I appreciate this about him.  I appreciate that he lets me be me.  I appreciate that he knows that the girl he fell in love with is still there no matter what is going on with the exterior.

It dawned on me before getting this tattoo that almost all of my tattoos were something Bill had to deal with after the fact.  I didn't know whether he loved them or hated them.  I had never really asked.  I decided before this tattoo to tell him.  I decided to ask him if it was OK, and if he had said no..I would not have done it.  Well, he didn't say no.  He was fine with it.

Tattoos may not be his thing, but he knows that they are a part of me and he lets me do that.  I think this is one of the best things we can teach our son.  Acceptance.  Everyone is different.  Not everyone is going to look like you, like what you like, do what you do, be who you are but you just might find that if you look past that you will discover a person who is perfect for you and you will accept them and everything else that comes with them.

I am so happy that I found a man that I love more today than I did when I was a giggly 22 year old girl who felt head over heels.  I'm so happy that I found a man that I love today more than I did yesterday.


Gary's third pottery blog said...

awesomeness indeed :)

Duffy said...

That is extremely rare....and totally beautiful.


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