Today is Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, today is also my birthday. For the sake of today's post, we are going to call this my re-birth day. I've mentioned that some changes were coming for me in 2011. I didn't want to make any resolutions on New Years because resolutions are almost always made to be broken. Instead I wanted to give it a little more time, think out a plan and it just seemed to be perfect timing with a birthday.
So, here is the big secret people.....I'm fat. In fact, I'm not just fat...I'm obese. Well, now that feels a whole lot better doesn't it? No, not really but let's charge ahead.
I didn't always used to be this way. For most of my life, from the time I hit 5'10"...which was roughly around the 8th grade, I weighed 150lbs give or take. Sometime around 22, when I stopped swimming I crept up to about 190. Oh man was I scared. 10 lbs way from 200lbs? So, I started working out. I swam 2 days a week and did water aerobics 2 days a week. Then I joined
Weight Watchers and the pounds just melted away....until I was 137lbs. Yikes, I know.
It was a great plan, but I wasn't doing it the best way. I was doing it the fastest way. I was also assuming my body could keep up with me and I could just go on like that forever. Then my shoulder went out and I had my first surgery, and weight crept back on. It took a long time and didn't happen all at once but soon enough, there I was creeping towards 200lbs again. Only this time I started playing the diet game. The popular game of I'll start tomorrow, so today I'm going to have everything I want. Then, I had another surgery.
I continued playing the yo yo dieting game until I got pregnant when I decided "fuck it." I wasn't going to eat everything I wanted, but I wasn't going to worry about it either. Well, I got so sick that I lost a ton of weight and when all was said and done I walked out of the hospital with a baby and a body that was 10lbs lighter than when I got pregnant. It felt great and so what did I do to celebrate....I ate!
Now, here I sit. I have a son that I want to be healthy for. I have a husband that I want to be sexy for. Lord knows that right now I'm not either of those two. In fact, want to know where I really stand right now?

There you have it people. The big secret. I blew right past that 200lb mark and now sit at 264. Wow, it's out there....the scary weight. Do you know I spent my entire pregnancy making my husband wait in the lobby while I got weighed in because I just didn't want him to know how much I weighed? How sad is that? I'm not sure why I felt like the secret needed to be told now. Maybe to motivate me more? Maybe so if there are others out there reading this they will relate and know they are not alone.
So, now the bigger question is what am I going to do about it? Well I'm going to create a get healthy routine based on being a mommy. The easiest excuse is that it is too hard to go to the gym, too hard to go to
Weight Watchers meetings. I've decided to start by cutting out the excuses. I'm joining
Weight Watchers again because I do feel like it is the best program out there, but I'm going to do it all online. Who needs a meeting when I just told over 500 people how much I weigh? I'm also going to use the
Wii and walks with Leyton as my primary exercise. Each Monday I will check in and give you an update. I'll let you know what I did, I'll let you know what I loved, what I hated and all the mistakes I made along the way. I'll also let you know my weight each week. If you are feeling up to it, join along with me.
My primary motivation for all of this is my family. I don't want to be an embarrassment, I don't want to end up sick. I am 35 today and I want to have at the very least 35 more wonderful years....although I'm shooting for a lot more. Thanks for coming along on this ride with me while I go from
Wii Fat to
Wii Fit!!