Things have felt heavy on Pill's Place and in my life as of late. I'll admit, I'm in a downer mood. This isn't really typically of me. I'm a roll with the punches, don't let stuff get under my skin kind of girl. It just all got to feel like too much. I started to crack. Thing is, whatever bad there is to come...I want to be over it. I don't want to wake up every day wondering what is going to go wrong today...and that's what I've been doing. I sometimes wonder if I'm making things worse, and it's very likely that I am.
So, today...I'm going to start trying to let the sunshine in. I'm going to start trying to see the good...even when I have to wade through the shit to find it.
I turned on my camera today to see if there were any pictures I hadn't loaded yet and found a few of Leyton..of course. They were taken on Sunday. He was still sick, still running a fever, still in Saturday's clothes. He was also happy though...in fact, he was happy the whole time he was sick. Never complaining, just rolling with the punches. On Sunday, all he wanted was to go. He would walk to the door and say "bye bye?" This boy loves the outside and loves going places...well as long as the drive isn't too long! I didn't want to take him somewhere though and get others sick so I just put his shoes on and let him play in the backyard.
He was in heaven.
This picture makes me smile. His mismatched outfit, his frazzled hair that is always in his eyes, his pacifier...and of course the sunshine. The way it is just licking the edges of his hair and face making him look angelic.
He's going to help me let the sunshine back in.