Tuesday, March 29, 2011

You must be this tall......


Can I vent for a moment? Thanks so much! You see, recently "they" decided that it is best to keep a child facing back in a car seat until that child reaches the age of two. That said, this post is either going to make me look like an unfit and uncaring mother or it's going to hit home with other people that agree. So, let's just get to the point. I will not be waiting till two. You see, I'm sick and tired of "them" and all the things "they" tell me to do. You know why? Well, because I think that more than anything all "they" do is scare moms....especially new ones. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not Brittany and you won't see me riding shotgun with Leyton on my lap or anything BUT I feel like I have to draw the line somewhere.

Here is where I have the biggest problem with it. What the hell does it have to do with age? What I think "they" are doing is generalizing the size of children and figuring out that at 2 most kids are a certain height and weight and therefore it is safer for children to stay sitting backwards until they reach that safe size. Then there is Leyton, have you seen my son? He is the product of a man that is 6'1" and a woman that is 5'10". The dude weighs 27lbs (as of a week ago) and is over 30 inches long. I have actually seen two year olds that are smaller than Leyton. He's in the 90th percentile for everything so it's safe to say he is big. Bigger than most. I, as his mother, feel that when he turns one I will be completely fine turning him around. Honestly, I would be fine turning him now. What is going to happen on day 366 that wasn't there at 365? The answer is ABSOLUTELY nothing. He is above the requirements of any forward facing car seat when you look at their length and weight limit. So, the question I keep coming back to is WHY is this based on age?! I am firm in my belief that it should be based on size requirements. If I go to an amusement park I have to be a certain size to ride the ride...not a certain age.

I know it is "their" ultimate goal to make things safer for our kids. On the other hand, when is it too much? Where is the point where we all are just sitting at home with our child in a plastic bubble because we are afraid of exposing them to anything. I just think a lot of these rules give parents too much to worry about and be fearful of. Let me tell you, I fell on the concrete while holding my child and could have just as easily caused him brain damage or much much worse. At what point will it be recommended that I don't carry my child because the likelihood of him getting hurt goes up by 75%?

To be honest, I'm just a first time mommy that loves my child more than anything else in the world. I will do everything to keep him as safe as possible. I also know that I need to make some decisions based on what I feel is best for him. If I had listened in the beginning to all the people that said "Breast is best!" he would have died of starvation. At a certain point I just have to listen to myself and know that I as his mommy make the best decisions.

6 comments:

Lakota [Faith Hope and Charity Shopping] said...

I think you're right Stacey. We have a similar 'suggestion' here but even though my boys are a little older I still wouldn't have had them facing backwards until 2. It was hard enough when they were babies to have them rear-facing. It's BORING for them. And what does a bored child in a car do? Scream, if it's one of mine. Have any studies been done on the number of accidents caused by a parent distracted by a distressed child in the back who can't see Mum?

HammBone said...

I turned both of mine early...call me what you want...but my kids were/are big! There poor little feet were crumpled they were so big. I'm 6'2, my hubby is 6'5, i mean really. I totally agree. My 5 yr. old has been in a booser since 3. My 2 1/2 yr. old weighs almost 40 pounds and is bigger than most 4 year olds. Whatevs, a mother knows best (generally). Thanks for posting and letting the rest of vent!:) Things are different than when we were kids...

LaurenSmash said...

I think you have to do what you think is best :)You are obviously a great mommy, and I think you should trust your instincts.

katie jean said...

I think you're right Stacey! He will have long legs and it will just be plain uncomfortable for him to sit with his legs up against the back of the seat. My mom told me I rode in the back of the car as a baby in a small bassinet. No seat belts. How things have changed in just a short 20 years since then ;)

Duffy said...

When I initially heard about this, I was on the same side as you.....Kate was always on the light side, but definitely hit the height requirement way early. I couldn't imagine keeping them cramped up with their legs all uncomfortable and I agree with Lakota about distracted moms having accidents due to screaming children who are bored and face backward (that is actually SO true), BUT if you really read a lot about it and watch the videos, it's not really black and white....it's pretty compelling to keep them rear facing....and some countries in Europe require rear facing until FOUR! Is there some reason we don't start selling cars who's backseat is just rear facing to begin with????
Apparently there are ways to situate their legs that aren't so uncomfortable, and the death rate and serious injury rates are almost non-existant.... SO what do do?! I just can't imagine it....and now I've got TWO babies to feel guilty about. I'm really not sure....but here's were I stand as of right now. I don't get as angry about the recommendation as I did about 10 months ago when I first heard about it, but on the other hand, if you opt to not follow the rec, then you are NOT a bad mom!!!!! After all, it's a rec, not a req. Big difference.
And as for breastfeeding.....I'm not even to week 2 and I want to quit..... =(

Stacey B said...

I will say that I just watched some video on forward vs. rear and it did make me think twice. Pretty compelling evidence. I just think my biggest complaint is that they don't base it on height and weight because every child is so different and I don't necessarily think the "age" should be the defining factor.

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