Can I call you that? "Who me?"
Do you mind the name Megs? I mean, seeing how I get more emails from you each day than I get from other friends I feel like it's time for a quirky spin on your name seeing how we're such good friends and all. I mean, just the other day I even got a phone call about you. It wasn't you personally, no you are too busy making the "who me" arms to actually call yourself. Instead you have your minions send me the emails and make the phone calls. The thing is I really had no problem with you until you started emailing me like crazy. Then I found you to be a stalker and when I tried to tell you to go away...low and behold you shot up your "who me" arms and told me you didn't recognize my email. How weird?! I mean first of all...I never gave it to you in the first place so it would make sense that YOU don't recognize it but seeing how I'm getting all these emails from you one would think we have some sort of relationship together. If we did have a relationship I would tell you to do something about those unsightly pleated khakis that you are so found of wearing. "What these pants?" Yep, those are the ones Megs. Maybe even send you to a great stylist I know here in Sacramento to help with the hair. "What's wrong with my hair?"
I would tell you to watch out how often you look stoned or angry on camera.
I would tell you that all of these phone calls and all of these emails are actually working AGAINST you and if I didn't know who you were before....I do now...and I don't like you so much."Can't we just be friends?"
No Megs, we can't...and I don't want a hug.