A Letter To Your Parents
This will have to be in two parts. Since my parents are not a cohesive unit it only makes sense to do it that way.
Dear Mommy Dearest,
You are in Paris, and you suck. Hahahahaha! No, you know I am just kidding you and being jealous. Seriously though mom, I look at this picture of you and think "Why didn't my mom save her entire wardrobe?" You had some seriously groovy tastes back then. Just look at you with that long blond hair and sexy cigarette.
What can I say, you are my Mommy D. You are my best friend. I hate that you live so far away, especially now that there is a grandson getting bigger by the day. I want you to be here, I want to have weekly lunches with you. Get home from Paris and move already..jeez.
I've been solo with you since I was 5 and I think you did great. I know at times it was hard for you, but you championed through it like the goddess that you are. You were a good mommy, I hope you know that. You are crazy creative and incredibly talented. I could show you anything and you will be able to make it yourself just like the picture if not better. Except for knitting, we now know you can't knit so I do have that one on you. Everyone that knows you loves you, it is impossible not to like you. I don't always agree with your taste in men, but we can't all be perfect can we?
I have a tattoo that makes me think of you everyday. I think that says alot. Plus, there is nothing better than telling people "Oh, that hanger..it's because I call my mom Mommy Dearest" only to watch the shock on people's faces. You are nothing like Mommy Dearest, you just don't like wire hangers. Thankfully we've never had a butt beating while baby powder goes flying everywhere though!
I love you, you are a piece of my heart and now that I have a child of my own I know how much you love me back. That is so important to me now.
Hello my tall goofy father. How are you? Will you read this blog post? You don't have a computer, so probably not.
Dad, I love you more than you will ever know. I don't always agree with you and your ways and I don't always know that you love me the way a parent does. That's weird to write, but I'm not sure you ever really knew what it meant to be a Dad. You are affectionate and caring, but you are distant. Maybe you had kids too young, maybe it was the drinking, maybe it was how you grew up. It's so hard to say.
The thing is though, it doesn't make me love you any less. I get furious with you, yes. Sometimes I think you need a good reality check spanking, yes. What it comes down to though is you are my Dad. I see you in me all the time. You are hilarious, the life of the party, the fun guy to be around. You are the world's ultimate buddy. Sometimes though, I don't want a buddy...I want a Dad.
I hope if you read this, you don't take offense but instead take it to heart. I can't give you a book that tells you what you are supposed to do and as I get older I don't need a father figure as much. So now what I ask of you is to be a Grandpa. Leyton is small now, but as he gets bigger...please don't be distant. I don't want him to know you from pictures and holidays. I want him to think he has the coolest Grandpa ever. The Grandpa that picks him up to take him riding on the golf cart. The Grandpa that takes him for ice cream. The Grandpa that gives him a big hug and kiss every time he sees him. The Grandpa that tells him how much he loves him.
I can only hope for these things because I have learned not to expect anything. The fact of the matter is, I will love you anyway.
Stace (sometimes referred to as Tam)