Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Crime Sweep

East Sac is stuck in a big crime ring right now. We are targets of package theft and cat burglars. Cat burglars who come in through open windows or unlocked doors while you are SLEEPING and steal your stuff and drink a couple beers. Yes, at a couple locations the cat burglars literally helped themselves to some libations and even food. Apparently it's hard out there for a thief! Needless to say the neighborhood is on lock down and my dreams are plagued of thieves coming in during the night. How does this happen? I mean do thieves sign up for the theft group newsletter and when a good neighborhood comes up they all get a text to go hit it? So crazy.

The package theft is obviously a big problem right now for those of us that do online shopping for Christmas...and for ourselves. What seems to be happening is someone is following the UPS and Fed Ex delivery trucks and as soon as Mr. Brown makes a drop off, the thief swoops in and takes the package. Who would do this.....well the answer is this fine lady.

This cigarette smoking, too tight mom jeans wearing bitch. Sorry for the profanity Grandma! See, the house behind us got really tired of the theft and so they installed a camera which caught this specimen in the act. This was then broadcast on almost every news station around. My hope is they caught her. My other hope is that I stay home one day and set her up and while she's on my porch stealing my box I hit her over the head with a baseball bat. No, it's the holidays and I am not one for violence. Instead I'll tie her up with my Christmas lights. Yep, that would be more seasonal.


Sarah said...

you can see her car in the background too. So take note! Please keep us updated if you find out that they catch her. Bitch is a nice word for her. I can think of a few more.

Ruth said...

i saw this pic everywhere!! i didn't know this house was right behind you! i really do hope they catch her. so. messed. up!!!!

Carol Browne said...

I think she should be arrested for those awful pants she's wearing. EW. Also, I think kidnapping is a pretty serious offence. What about pelting her with eggs?

I think that's still assault, but I think you'd do less time for that than if you'd brained her with the bat.

Just sayin'.


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