Monday, May 21, 2007

Oops, I did it again.....

Ok, strap in for a story cause this could be a lengthy one. As many people know, I have a weight problem. I think I've always been on the "thicker" side, but things didn't get out of control till a couple years ago. Here's my sad tale.....

Roughly 7 years ago I decided that I needed to drop some weight and went on Weight Watchers. I was swimming and taking water aerobics at the time and it made the weight "melt" off. I was quickly down about 50lbs and weighed in at a whopping 134lbs (I'm 5'10" by the way.) I was REALLY skinny, actually too skinny but at the time I couldn't stop losing. Then that all changed. My shoulder decided that it had had enough swimming and I woke up one morning unable to move it. This put all activity on hold, and suddenly made my body reverse from losing to gaining. Thus the pattern began. Although I went back to WW 100 times I just couldn't stick to it and became the heaviest I had ever been. Almost a year ago I decided to give Jenny Craig a try just to spice things up. I lost weight again very rapidly, but eating out of a box gets old very quick and I knew that I couldn't stick to it. I figured I'd go right back to WW, which I didn't, and most of the weight has come back on. I thought I had come to terms with this, and although I didn't want to be a fat bride I also didn't want to starve myself to reach some crazy goal.

This changed one week ago. I went to an event and ran into someone that hadn't seen me in a while. This person said hello and proceeded to rub my belly and tell me that it looked like things were going really well for me............she thought I was pregnant! I was totally mortified and quickly found a way to basically walk away without being rude as this was not someone I wanted to be rude to or make feel bad for that matter.

So, there you have it. I know this is being posted on a blog that MILLIONS of people who know me and don't know me can read but in a sense this is my therapy. I keep hiding behind it and trying to avoid and ignore the fact that I am fat....unhealthy fat and it's time to really do something about it. I can't be like this because it's not good for me on many different levels.

Today, I am back on Weight Watchers. I know I need to do this for myself for my physical and emotional well being. Part of that emotional well being was just laying this all out on the table for the world to see. This is definitely a place that I want to post about my progress, but by no means is this going to be a losing weight/gaining weight blog. Just another part of my life that I'll share from time to time.

Thanks for reading, sorry that it was such a long and downer story. It feels better just putting it out there! Wish me luck!

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